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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23231167">Talk to me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnapTheVolleyNerd/pseuds/SnapTheVolleyNerd'>SnapTheVolleyNerd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Family, Good Older Sibling Leonardo (TMNT), Older Sibling Leonardo (TMNT)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:29:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,303</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23231167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnapTheVolleyNerd/pseuds/SnapTheVolleyNerd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(based on the 2012 tv show)</p>
<p>It's been a week since Leo woke up, and April has taken it upon herself to get him to open up about the burdens he now feels he has to carry.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Talk to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>god, okay I haven't written anything for this fandom since fucking 2013 but it latched out and dragged me back into the depths.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s been a week since Leo woke up, and although he was still far weaker than Donnie would have liked, he was steadily building his strength back up. As he sat on the couch, Mikey with his head in his big brothers lap, watching Crognard, Leo looked at his u\youngest brother closely. He hadn’t realized the new scars he had, or how much lighter he seemed to be. Mikey was happily unaware of Leo’s observations, pointing out details in the show that he knew Leo would like.</p>
<p>April was leaning up against the doorway, watching the two brothers. She had been worried about how Mikey had been handling Leo being unconscious for so long. How he had refused to eat anything on some days, claiming he was nauseous. How she had found him in the attack, 10 days after their defeat at New York. How he was holding Leo’s gear and sobbing. She had comforted him the best she could, but there was only so much she could do. She sighed happily as she watched Leo absentmindedly playing with the ends of Mikey’s mask.</p>
<p>Smiling as she watched Leo send Mikey to bed, yawning while talking about the episode they had just watched, she had an idea.</p>
<p>“Hey, Leo, do you want some tea?”</p>
<p>“That sounds amazing April, thank you.”</p>
<p>His deeper voice still caught them all off guard every now and then. April knew that Donnie had mentioned Leo was not to leave the couch until the next morning, after he had twisted it trying to go upstairs earlier in the day. She sighed as she prepared two cups of tea. She knew exactly how he liked his, without sugar, but with a small amount of milk and cinnamon. Her own tea had a spoon of honey and a dash of vanilla.</p>
<p>When she came back into the living room, she saw Leo struggling to get his injured leg on the couch. Sighing tiredly, April set the mugs down on the coffee table.</p>
<p>“Do…you need some help, Leo?”</p>
<p>He tried once more, before nodding, irritated. As she carefully helped him move his leg, allowing him to do most of the work, she thought she saw the shadow of a smile on his face. She handed him the nice warm cup of tea, and she pondered for a moment how to ask the leader how he was doing. She knew she would have to be careful with her words, but she decided to wing it at first, and see what reactions she got.</p>
<p>“Leo…”</p>
<p>She began, gaining her the attention of the eldest turtle.</p>
<p>“How are you holding up, with all of this? I-I know it’s a lot to take it, especially all at once…”</p>
<p>A small smile from Leo made her look at him, confusion in her eyes.</p>
<p>“I’m doing fine April. It <em>is</em> a lot, but it’s nothing that I can’t handle.”</p>
<p>April stared at him intently. She had tried to reach him while he was unconscious, and ‘fine’ was not the word she would use to describe the torment he had felt. She hadn’t told the others that when she had tried desperately to reach him, she had seen the nightmares he was being held captive by, memories, she soon discovered, of the ambush that had been waiting for him.</p>
<p>“Leo. I-um…while you were out…”</p>
<p>He watched as the redhead took a deep breath, as if preparing herself for the words that she was about to say.</p>
<p>“I-I tried to reach you one night. The others were asleep, and they knew that I was going to try. B-but I didn’t tell them what I saw.”</p>
<p>She watched his face as the realization that she had seen his never ending nightmares. The mask he had been wearing was at last beginning to slip, as she saw the horror and understanding dawn in his eyes. He hadn’t told anyone the details of what had happened to him. He didn’t want to.</p>
<p>“I saw what the Foot Clan-what <em>Shredder</em> did to you, Leo. And I could feel everything that you felt. So I know you’re not okay. And I want you to know I’ll always be here if you need to talk.”</p>
<p>Leo stared at the half empty mug in his hands. He was deep in thought when he heard April speak again.</p>
<p>“Look, I know you feel like you have to be strong. For them, for <em>us</em>. And I know you feel like you have to be the temporary replacement for Master Splinter. <em>Talk to me, Leo? </em>Please?”</p>
<p>At long last, she saw the mask slip from his face, and in place of his typical brave smile, she recognized the broken heart of a child who had lost his father. A boy forced to take on a role meant for someone far beyond his own age. He cleared his throat before speaking, as April moved to sit on the side of the couch.</p>
<p>“A-April. I…I…”</p>
<p>She gently placed her hands over his own, before looking into his eyes. The pain and sadness that she saw there, did not belong there.</p>
<p>“I miss Master Splinter.”</p>
<p>He choked out quietly. Choosing to be silent, April squeezed his hands.</p>
<p>“I feel like I-I should have done more to protect you, all of you. I-if I hadn’t fought with Donnie…”</p>
<p>A sob cut him off before he could finish, and April took the mug from his hands, setting it on the table, before gently rubbing his shaking fingers. He took a steadying breath before he continued.</p>
<p>“Sensei was wrong about me being the leader, April.”</p>
<p>He looked dejected, that is, until April lightly slapped his face. Not hard enough to truly cause harm, but hard enough to hurt.</p>
<p>“<strong><em>Ow!</em></strong>”</p>
<p>He rubbed his cheek lightly, before looking at April. Her eyes were filled with fury, and he knew he shrank into the couch.</p>
<p>“<em>Leonardo.</em> Master Splinter made you the leader for a reason. And you have done nothing but a <em>good job</em>. You can’t help what other people have done, or will do. Do you understand me?”</p>
<p>She now had his undivided attention, as she never called any of the brothers by their full names, his mouth hanging open slightly. She watched as he appeared to think her words over.</p>
<p>“Leo, if you weren’t the leader, think of how many accidents would’ve happened. Remember what happened when Raph tried to take your place, back when you first met Karai?”</p>
<p>He nodded tiredly, remembering how terrified Raph had been for their youngest brother. He seemed to be pondering what would have happened if one of the younger brothers had been the leader.</p>
<p>“And Leo, I know you probably know about this, but…Raph tried so hard to be the leader while you were out. He managed to keep his temper under control most of the time, a-and he made sure that Donnie slept and ate, made sure Mikey was okay. He even made sure Casey and I were okay, because w-well…my dad got mutated again, and Casey couldn’t find his dad or sister.”</p>
<p>She watched him intently as he took in this new information. While he had been out, Raph had taken it upon himself to be the leader their family needed at that time.</p>
<p>“April, I-I…”</p>
<p>He took another shuddering breath before he continued.</p>
<p>“Okay, you’re right. I-I’m not fine, I’m really not. But I f-feel like I have to be, for you and Casey, for my brothers. Without Father, we feel lost. I’m trying so hard to be positive about this, because I <em>know</em> he’s still alive, somewhere. We would have felt it if he wasn’t.”</p>
<p>He trembled violently as tears threatened to cascade down his cheeks once more, and April stood, hugging the leader tightly. He leaned into the embrace, soaking in the love April had for him, along with his brothers and father.</p>
<p>“I-I know I didn’t tell anyone the full details about w-what happened that day. Once I got on the streets, there were foot soldiers everywhere…”</p>
<p>April listened as he finally began to share what had happened.</p>
<p>“Th-they forced me into this area, i-it was almost like a maze. There were a-archers firing arrows all over, it was like they were never going to stop, so I felt like I couldn’t either…”</p>
<p>April felt tears welling up in her eyes as Leo continued, his voice trembling and cracking.</p>
<p>“I was o-overconfident in myself, a-and I dared the Shredder to face me. But instead he sent Tiger Claw, Rahzar, Fishface and even more foot soldiers. I-I kept fighting, I knew that if I failed they would go after a-all of you. A-and I knew that Donnie was hurt, so I <em>kept fighting</em>, I thought I was going to collapse f-from all of it. B-but I didn’t.”</p>
<p>April hugged him even closer as he let out a choked sob at the end, but she knew he wasn’t finished yet.</p>
<p>“A-after I beat Tiger Claw th-that’s w-when…”</p>
<p>April gently hugged him tighter, knowing what he was about to say.</p>
<p>“Sh-Shredder hit me. I-I was already exhausted from the fighting b-but he came up behind m-me and th-the last thing I remember before waking up here i-is his blades and how they f-felt.”</p>
<p>He finally managed to choke out, the tears now coming with no sign of stopping anytime soon. She moved from behind Leo, back to sitting on couch, holding his hands as he sobbed. She hadn’t realized just how badly this had been affecting the eldest turtle, although she knew that his brothers only caught brief glimpses of how tired he was. She had waited to see if he would talk to one of them, but after tonight, she knew that he wouldn’t talk about things that hurt him without being pushed.</p>
<p>“Leo, look at me.”</p>
<p>She gently pushed his chin upwards, forcing him to look at her. His eyes were haunted by the memories, and they seemed dull compared to how they looked when she had first met him.</p>
<p>“Leo, when you were thrown through my window that day, we weren’t sure you were even alive…”</p>
<p>The surprised look she got reminded her they hadn’t told him how they had ‘found’ him. She continued.</p>
<p>“Once we got here, we had to put you in the bathtub, to make sure you stayed hydrated. A-at first, Donnie thought maybe you went into hibernation or something like that, but none of you had ever done that before. We had hoped you would wake up soon. I-I remember Mikey spent a lot of time with you, especially in the beginning. He would read you comic books, or tell you about his day, and each time I saw him, he looked so scared, Leo. Every so often, he would hear you groan, and each time, i-it gave him hope.”</p>
<p>She took a deep breath before speaking once again, as she had Leo’s full attention.</p>
<p>“We lost a battle that day. We all know that. But everyday we remind ourselves of how lucky we are that we didn’t lose <em>you</em>, Leo. Yes, you were badly hurt, but you’re still alive. And no matter what, we will always be there for you.”</p>
<p>He didn’t even try to hide the fresh tears that soaked through his mask, as April took it off carefully, she realized he hadn’t been able to sleep much, according to the dark bags under his eyes.</p>
<p>“Leo, I know you feel like you can’t share everything with your brothers, but I’ll be here to talk, whenever you need it. Just like you always have been for me. I know your brothers haven’t mentioned it to you, but they’re all so relieved you’re awake now. They were so scared Leo. We all were.”</p>
<p>Leo sniffled a bit before he spoke again.</p>
<p>“Th-thank you April. For this, i-it means a lot. And I’ll always be there for you to talk to as well.”</p>
<p>April smiled softly as the leader yawned tiredly. She turned to go and head to bed, but was stopped by Leo holding her hand, looking up at her with a pleading look on his face. Forcing herself not to giggle, she remembered a story Donnie had told her about Leo. When he was much younger, he often couldn’t sleep without a family member beside him.</p>
<p>“Alright Leo, I’ll sleep down here tonight.”</p>
<p>She settled down on the couch, hoping she wouldn’t fall, and was only a little surprised when she felt Leo wrapping his arms around her. She smiled to herself as she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, knowing her honorary big brother needed her tonight.</p>
<p>Two hours later, Mikey came downstairs for a drink of water, and there he saw his eldest brother sound asleep with April wrapped in his arms.</p>
<p>“aww!”</p>
<p>Mikey whispered before Leo shivered in his sleep. Donnie <em>had</em> mentioned his tolerance for the cold had gone down considerably, he remembered, as he slipped away to grab April’s soft quilt. He snapped a few quick pictures on his T-phone before he headed back up to bed.</p>
<p>April hugged Leo’s arms in her sleep, being able to feel the care he had for her, as well as how protective he was of her, even in sleep. And that was how the brothers and Casey found them the next morning, deciding to let them sleep when Mikey told them about his late night water, and how all the lights were still on, and they hadn’t had a blanket, and the mugs had been left on the table.</p>
<p>They had all known Leo needed to talk to someone, but they hadn’t expected to find him and April sound asleep on the couch. But now that they knew he had talked, they knew he would finally begin to heal mentally.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I found a lot of really good fics on DEVIANTART for this show, and recently rediscovered them, which in turn inspired me to write this, please leave a comment if you enjoyed! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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